Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
