dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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