I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
