id be glad to
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
