And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
