did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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