I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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