i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
