i just wanna soil my oats bro
from now on my penis is your penis
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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