I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
