he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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