Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
