Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I intend to get homeless drunk
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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