i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Little spoons don't ask big questions
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
