ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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