How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
