i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i dont even know how to be here
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
