So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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