Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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