it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Panties = found
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