that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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