I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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