We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
