Screwed.edu
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
