I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
