remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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