i may or may not be watching the land before time
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
