So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
