it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
