i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
