So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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