hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
