you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
