I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
