Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
