The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
