And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
