Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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