she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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