I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
