Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
