There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
