If i come over, it means nothing
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
