Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
