I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize