Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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