why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
