Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize