I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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