I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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