I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
