I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
