so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
