I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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