ttyl tear gas
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
