Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize