a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
