I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize