What did we do last night that was yellow?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
