I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
