Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have surprise drugs for everyone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
