well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
