Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
