I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
