brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
