So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
