Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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