I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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