Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
