Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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